Monday, November 29, 2010

breaking heart

It's about 6:15 am Monday morning and I'm just trying to hold it together. I leave in about an hour to go to the SLC airport for my second business trip since Ryan was born...but this time without Ryan. I have a busy week and will have to work late a night or two and I just didn't see how I could take Ryan. Plus, I think the last trip was hard on him.

My cousin is going to watch him during the day and my sister and another cousin are "on call" for evenings, but Tony is really good with Ryan, so I think he'll be ok. So I know my little boy is in good hands. Really good hands.

But last night I almost changed my mind. I vascillated between taking Ryan with me and leaving him home. I've been hugging him every minute I can. And I've been crying.

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. It certainly doesn't feel right - leaving my little four month home while I'm gone for a week. In January I start traveling more, but I keep telling myself it will be easier when he's a bit older. But I know it won't be.

So if you're traveling from SLC to ATL to GSO today and you see a woman weeping, it might be me. Just give me a hug and tell me Ryan will be fine, that everything will be fine and that this week will go by fast. Cause that's what's going to get me through this week.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

a diabetic's feast

When I was pregnant, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes which actually wasn't a total shock considering the family history. My grandma had diabetes, my mom has diabetes and just about all my aunts and uncles either have it or heart disease.

But what I didn't realize is when you have gestation diabetes, it significantly increases the risk of getting diabetes later in life. And with my family history, it's almost certain I'll get it. Lovely.

So I'm on an anti-diabetes campaign and I am determined to beat the odds.

My sister recommended this program called the Belly Fat Cure by Jorge Cruise. While I'm not sure if it's the best long-term solution for me, it's working for now. The basic program is to significantly reduce your intake of sugar and carbohydrates. You can have 25 grams of sugar and 6 servings of carbs (20 grams is 1 serving). Reducing sugar and carbs reduces belly fat.

Best of all, I've lost 8 pounds and 4 inches around my waist and I can still have some sugar and and chips and salsa. I've also been testing my blood sugar (yes, I prick my finger on a regular basis which isn't as bad as I thought it would be) and my numbers have been great.

So with Thanksgiving coming up, I've come up with a strategy. Instead of my usual gobble till I wobble, I'm going to have lots of the healthy stuff - turkey, veggies and the like. And I'm going to allow myself a bit of dessert, a bread item, a bit of sweet potato pie (my favorite!) and a bit of mashed potatoes.

So there it is - I've gone public with my plan...and I plan to report in on Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 22, 2010

our great adventure

Last week Ryan and I flew to High Point - it was a great adventure, but one that I hope we don't have to repeat. At least not the way we did it.

When Tony dropped us off at the SLC airport, it was a sad good-bye. I felt like I was separating our little family for a much longer time than 5 days. I put Ryan in his little sling/carrier thing and we headed towards Delta security. By the time we got to the end of the walkway, Ryan was clearly telling me that he hated HATED the sling. I put down my two bags (why, oh why did I take TWO bags?!) and took Ryan out of the carrier and held him in my arms which is where he stayed for the next TEN hours.

I had opted for a carrier instead of a stroller because I didn't think I would be able to push a stroller and pull luggage once I landed in NC. But the carrier idea was a disaster. Not only did it not work, but it also became additional luggage to carry in my bags.

As I sat in my window seat waiting to see who would be sitting next to us for the next 3-ish hours, I hoped and prayed for a grandmotherly type. Someone who would think Ryan is the most adorable baby and who would generously offer to hold him while I went to the bathroom or took a break. So when a very large man who smelled like smoke, had a crew cut and dressed in army fatigues sat down next to me, I knew Ryan and I were on our own. He was nice enough, but even if he surprised me and did offer to hold my baby, I would have politely declined.

After a few minutes of fussiness, Ryan settled down and slept for the rest of the flight. I was paranoid about his ears with the take-off and landing, but I was able to time feeding him just right.

Walking through the Atlanta airport carrying Ryan and two bags was a challenge. Even though I booked a 2 hour layover in anticipation of the situation, I think I lost 5 pounds traveling that day. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that Ryan had a record-breaking poopy diaper. He leaked through his outfit and everything. He only had one prior poop leakage and chose this special day to make his second leaky poopy diaper in his life.

The flight to Greensboro wasn't as smooth as our Atlanta flight however. Both in terms of Ryan and the plane flying. Ryan maintained his record breaking day and chose the turbulent flight to Greensboro to produce his third leaky poopy diaper. And because of the turbulence, we couldn't get up to change his diaper. And because of his poopy diaper, Ryan cried the entire flight.

The bright light at the end of the flight was a dear rental car agent who took pity on me and personally went to get the car herself so I didn't have to trek across the airport and through the parking lot carrying a baby, a large suitcase, a pack and play (which I didn't use at all) and a rented car seat.

Bless Evion's soul, she saved me from a breakdown.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

blessing baby

There is something special about blessing a baby. As my sister Janelle put it, it's like the culmination of all activies that come with having a baby and seems like the climax to the newborn era. Is that too dramatic? That's how it felt.

Mom and dad were here which is always a fun and special time. I love seeing my parents hold and play with Ryan. Since Tony's parents have long passed away, they are Ryan's only grandparents. And he's very lucky to have such wonderful people in his life. But I'll save my thoughts for another posting.

Anyway, it was a busy weekend getting ready. As usual, mom cooked up a feast but she did it in between Brixen's soccer games, family parties and cuddling time with Ryan. We had potato soup, amazing chicken soup, taco soup, a beautiful salad, chicken salad, a delicious pumpkin dessert with cream cheese frosting, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. And she opted not to make her apple dessert because we had so many leftovers from the family party the night before. Seriously, that woman is amazing.

So many people came for Ryan's blessing. We were blessed with good family on both sides. Tony's brother Chris, Tom's wife Lucy and daughter Annie, and dear, sweet Aunt Daphne. Cousins Laurel and Wallace, Diana, Becky and Patience and David. My family on both the Mano and Inouye sides were there as well. We had almost 40 people over at our house!

Tony's blessing was absolutely beautiful. We'll see if we can get him to write about both the blessing and his testimony. I know I won't be able to do him justice.

So thanks to mom and dad for a beautiful weekend. Thanks to my dear family for all the love and support. And thanks to Ryan for blessing our lives in ways we never dreamt possible.

Friday, November 5, 2010

from newborn to infant


I subscribe to a baby website that sends me emails about baby development, solutions for baby situations, etc. The other day the email told me that my 3 month old baby is no longer a newborn and is now just an infant. I was actually shocked when I read that. For some reason I think I thought MY baby was different than the millions of other babies out there. For some reason I thought that MY baby would stay cute and adorable and 9 pounds forever. For some reason I thought MY baby would never grow up.


Actually, I knew he would, but I didn't realize it would happen so fast. Even though someone tells me so at least once a day. Enjoy it - they grow up so fast.


But growing up he is. I dressed him in his first 3 month outfit the other day and it fit. He's rolling over, smiling and giggling. He's gained a bunch of weight and is a regular chubby baby - complete with double chin. And even though he's no longer a newborn, Ryan at 3 months is still so, so cute.

It's a good thing he's going to be 3 months forever.