ten minutes to midnight

That's what time my watch alarm is set for these days. At ten minutes to midnight, my watch beeps at me telling me to log off my server at work in time for the nightly back up.

Ten minutes to midnight. Who does that?

I do. Several times a year. At tradeshow time. I work on the server until midnight, log off and then work some more until about 2 or 3am. This show has been particularly busy and I'm not quite ready. And I depart for High Point, North Carolina tomorrow night for TEN days. It could be worse though. It could be 11 or 12 days and it probably should have been with all the work we have to do, but ten days is about all I can bear to be away from my boys.

I've been home now for almost a month because of two cancelled trips and it's been wonderful. And once again, I nominate myself for the Mother of the Year Award.

The great thing about my job is I get to work at home so Ryan, Tony and I are together quite a bit. The bad thing about my job is I have a ton of work to do so I don't get to spend as much quality time with Ryan as I would like. So lately, Ryan's been watching a lot of "shows" as he calls them. I never thought I would win any motherhood awards, but one thing on my list was Ryan would not watch TV - except for maybe Baby Einstein during which Ryan would sit on my lap and i would point out the different animals to him. But alas, real life doesn't always work out that way. And lately, Ryan and Yo Gabba Gabba have spent some quality time together.

Yo Gabba Gabba is slowly growing on me. I even find myself singing "I am so happy, happy to be me" in a high cartoonish voice. DJ Lance or whatever his name actually reminds me of my brother Trent. At least his dancing does. Have you seen Trent dance? Well, just watch DJ Lance and there you have it.

So even though I may not win the Mother of the Year award, I'll take my busy days at home with my Yo Gabba Gabba watching baby boy. Who, as you can see, is more of a boy than a baby these days!

So have a lovely ten days...I'm going to try to post a few things while I'm gone, but if I don't, now you know why.

See y'all later!

lovely oceanside

I mentioned before that we spent the first week of March in Oceanside, California for Tony's birthday week. We bought a week at a condo at a charity auction for Southern Cross/Eagle-Condor and with our free flights, it was a great deal!

The condo was a short walk from the beach and we went with a simple agenda. Sleep, exercise on the beach, sleep, go to the San Diego Zoo, sleep, play on the beach, relax, read and more sleep.

And we did just that. It was wonderful.

First, some pictures from the zoo. I guess we tend to spend birthdays at zoos. First Ryan's first birthday and now Tony's. I tend to spend my birthdays either on a plane to NY or at the NY Gift Fair, which is another type of zoo altogether.

The zoo was amazing and we could have spent a couple of days there. Ryan was captivated by all the animals and so were we.

There were some silver back gorillas that were amazing - we couldn't stop watching them. But we were equally captivated by the lions, tigers, bears, elephants and everything else. By the end of the day, he was zonked.

When we first put Ryan down on the sand, he wrapped his legs around Tony's and didn't want to stand on his own. It was quite funny, but it made for a heavy boy. But after a few days, we couldn't keep up with him. I loved watching his cute little bum run along the sand.

With the exception of Ryan discovering his terrible two scream, it was an amazing trip. When I got home, I told my friend Marcia that Ryan was a big challenge on this trip and it would take a lot for Tony to talk me into another vacation anytime soon. She just replied, I love it. She was happy to see, as only a good friend can be, that Ryan wasn't all easy all the time.

But screams or no screams, he's still a pretty fun kid and we wouldn't trade him or our vacations for the world.

Next up...mom's big 70th birthday party.

warning: insomnia induced blog posting

It's 5:26 am, but I've actually been up since 3:32 am. I know that because I woke with a start from a disturbing dream and looked at my clock by my bed.

After tossing and turning for an eternity, I decided to get up and get some of those thoughts that have been whirling in my mind for the past two hours down on paper.

First off, where did March go? March was pretty much a blur as it whizzed by. A quick re-cap with a possibility of further elaboration at a later date:

First week: lovely vacation to Oceanside, CA in a condo a short walk from the beach to celebrate Tony's birthday week (yes, week!).

Second week: Mom came a couple of days after we got home and stayed for her big 70th birthday AND my new little niece (Gary and Racquel's daughter) was born on Friday, March 16th.

Third week: A quick trip to my home away from home, High Point, NC. The HP Market is coming up in April and we are launching a new branding campaign and new catalog for our new company, Mr. Brown.

Fourth week: Back at home, but this time, with a lovely new deck!

Oh and a couple of other honorable mentions: We sent in our adoption application and were approved! A flurry of paperwork has already begun! We started working on another business development and met with several different consultants. And did I mention our new Mr. Brown catalog? We put that together in a record month's time - complete with new logo, concept and Mr. Brown branding.

So that, in a nutshell is my March. No wonder I can't sleep.

our first anniversary

Leap year is a funny thing. It makes today our first anniversary of our first date...February 29, 2008. Six months from today, is our fourth wedding anniversary. That's right, we were married six months to the day from our first date. With that kind of dating/engagement/marriage speed, you would think we fell in love at first site and couldn't bear to be away from each other for even a minute.

But that wasn't actually the case.

We actually met a year before we started dating - a mutual friend had a dozen or so single people over for dinner and we were both there, but we were also both dating other people. We met and had a nice chat. I remember thinking he seemed like a great guy but probably wouldn't be interested in a girl like me. Tony remembers thinking why can't I meet a girl like her (although I never quite got that because he JUST DID!).

Fast forward about a year and we both found ourselves at one of those painful, not-so-speedy, speed dating dinners. It was a deal where we sat boy/girl/boy/girl around a dinner table and the boys had to switch tables after every dinner course.

I had just broken up with an old boyfriend a few DAYS ago and wasn't exactly in the frame of mind to meet someone new. But imagine my surprise when I found Tony sitting next to me at the beginning. He said he saw me and made a bee-line for me. I didn't remember who he was. But after a short minute or so, I remembered his conversion story to the LDS Church (which would make for a fabulous blog posting!).

Anyway he asked for my phone number and we dated on and off (mostly because of my travel schedule). Truth be told, it was a bit of a rocky beginning. At the time, I was an anonymous contributor to a blog for single, Mormon women in the dating world. Someday if I'm brave enough, I'll fess up to that blog address. But for now, I found this posting after we had turned the corner and were really liking each other. Actually, if memory serves me right (which it rarely does these days), we were already engaged (it was so fast, it was a bit of a blur really). Anyway, here's that posting from July 23, 2008.

"that sweet spot"

A new favorite sport of mine is wake surfing. For those not familiar with boating or waterskiing, you basically surf behind a ski boat on the boat’s wake. If you have just the right combination…a big wake, the right board and a bit of magic, you can find that sweet spot on the wake, let go of the rope and literally surf for as long as the magic lasts. When all those elements come together, it’s amazing. It makes me smile and it’s a smile that stays on my face for a very long time. Tony and I spent a lovely week houseboating at Lake Powell in June. He learned to wake board, ski and surf all in one week and most of all, he gained an appreciation for my sport of choice.

Tony was with a houseboat full of my friends and family, he was in my element – not his, and he was learning brand new sports in front of me. And he did great.

He wasn’t even intimidated to be dating someone who was better at a sport than he is (which is behavior that I find somewhat troubling in men). We had a couple of very minor kinks to work out during the week which actually felt very healthy. We can see things differently, discuss them and still like each other.

There’s nothing like going on vacation and being around each other 24 hours a day for a week to really get to know each other. All in all, it was a great trip that I didn’t want to see end.So now we’re both back in town and we’ve found that sweet spot. We’ve found that groove where things fit together, there’s a bit of magic and we can just let go of the rope and ride the wave.


Happy anniversary to my dear husband. Four years later, we're still riding that wave!

Be Mine

During my single years, I attended a multitude of church "firesides" - inspirational meetings with inspiration talks by inspirational people. And that's what they were to me. Inspirational.

One talk that I will always remember is by Suzanne Harwood. She talked about being single versus married and she told all us single adults that the ONLY disadvantage she could see we had from NOT being married is we didn't have someone in our lives to focus on besides ourselves. She said the greatest blessing of having a spouse and/or children is having the constant opportunity to serve them. The gist of the message is there is happiness and fulfillment in serving others.

I've always believed that a life full of serving others is a beautiful life. My parents are amazing examples to me of this. My dad is home in Pleasanton hard at work organizing the next two Special Olympic activities. My mom is home helping my dad and probably the young women and her friends and co-workers and anyone else around her who needs anything.

They are the greatest examples to me of love and service. And my siblings are not far behind them in the good works and service they do for their families and those around them. I could write a post on each of my siblings and the amazing things they are doing in their worlds. And then there are my grandparents. Don't even get me started on my grandparents.

Valentines Day this year has been a good reminder to me of what it means to love others and to be loved. Especially because I am in North Carolina this week and away from Tony and Ryan. If I've learned anything with all my travels, it's that absence does make the heart grow fonder.

A few months ago I had a bit of a dull spot. I was feeling sorry for myself because I didn't have any time for myself. I was either working or taking care of Ryan or cleaning the house. Tony is amazing in how he tries to allow me to have my own time, but I was feeling like I just didn't have any freedom. At least not the way I had freedom in my pre-motherhood and pre-marriage years.

So on this day-after-Valentines Day, I'm grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. People who love me, who are always there for me, who do so much for me. Even when I go through rough patches where I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm grateful I don't have the luxury to be too self-absorbed and too selfish with my time (although I certainly do try!).

When I see the familiar Valentines Day phrase, "Be Mine," I'm reminded of what that really means. To "be mine" isn't about possession; it means you are mine to serve, mine to appreciate, mine to love.

And how grateful I am that Tony and Ryan are all mine.

a boy and his dog

The past month has been a bit of a whirlwind. My Delta mileage statement pretty much sums it up. At the end of February, I should reach the silver medallion level which is 25,000 miles traveled.

And believe you me, this is NOT something to brag about.

Since the beginning of the year, I've been pretty much traveling every other week. Home a week, gone a week, home a week, gone a week. This is my home a week. Next week is my gone a week.

But after that, it should slow done. "Slow" is a relative term however.

I do have some things I've been wanting to write about including some new work projects that have launched me out of my comfort zone, my continued struggle with health, fitness and weight loss (January was tough!), my goals for 2012 (key words: expectation management) and of course, the loves of my life...Tony and Ryan.

But for now, here is my favorite picture of Ryan and Abby. It's about all I have time and/or energy for. But I'm sure you'll agree, there's nothing like a boy and his dog.

the first stitches

Yesterday, I had one of those phone calls that every mother dreads..."hi honey, we're at the hospital." But Tony was very quick to add, that everything was ok and that Ryan fell and just needed 4 stitches.

I guess they decided to go on a little hike and when Tony put Ryan down, he fell and hit his head against the car. Ryan's not much of a crier and only cried for a few seconds so Tony didn't think much of it. But then a moment later he saw blood and knew it was emergency room worthy.

Traveling is always hard, but when your baby is sick or injured, it's HORRIBLE! All I wanted to do was be at home. Oh, the homesickness. And oh, the guilt.

I felt bad for Tony too - having to wait for hours in the emergency room, having to entertain Ryan with blown up gloves and those giant popsicle throat sticks.

So now our little boy has 4 stitches on his eyebrow (which is probably the first of many). Tony said, other than the shot, he was very good and brave. What a little trooper.

And me? I had to settle for some darling pictures from my husband. Even with stitches, I think he's the handsomest little 18-month old I've ever had.

I've looked at these pictures at least a thousand times. The first time I looked at them, I cried. I sat in my hotel room and just cried.

The thousandth time I looked at them, I still got a little teary. But not so much from homesickness. More for gratitude that everything worked out ok. That my husband is capable and caring. That my little boy was with his daddy. And most of all, that I'll be home in just a few short days.