reality check

Another adopting mom who is traveling in the same group as us recommended an amazing "Adoption Parenting" book for me to read.  It is about 400 pages and I am on page 26.

But I did want to share an amazing analogy from that book that I will paraphrase:

Imagine you've just married the man of your dreams. You are very in love and feel like you've found your soul mate. On your wedding night you fall asleep thinking how wonderful life is and how blessed you are. The next morning, you wake up, look over at the other side of the bed and a different man is sleeping next to you! You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved husband?

You ask questions of the new man, but he doesn't understand you and you don't understand him. You search the house and even your home is different - each room is completely different and you can't find any trace of your former life.

Weeks pass and you cry and cry over your loss. The new guy tries to comfort you. You can't sleep, the food tastes completely different from the food you know, you can't understand anyone around you.

More time passes and the man takes you to a different home and there are lots of people who hug you and kiss you. You can't understand anyone and you don't know anyone and you are even more confused.

And the analogy continues on and on going through the different stages.  I understood the parallels of the analogy pretty quickly, but I've never had anything explain so clearly what little Anna is going to go through.  My heart aches for her already knowing how scared - no terrified - she will be leaving her nanny and everyone who loves her and being placed in a stranger's arms.  I am hoping and praying that my Asian looks will go a long, long way.  In fact, I've never been so grateful to be Asian!

So many people have asked if they can help with anything.  Well, I am going to ask for your prayers on Monday Sept 2nd for our little girl as she is placed in our arms.  And while you're add it, pray for that little girl's mommy and daddy because heaven knows, we are going to need all the help we can get.

My wish on Mother's Day

On this Mother's Day, my heart is full.  In part because of this wonderful little boy who calls me Mommy and the life we are able to enjoy as a family.  As we enjoyed our Saturday yesterday, I felt we were truly blessed.  And I am very much indeed, thankful for my blessings.

I have another reason to be grateful this day.  Her name is An Jing.  She was born March 28, 2012 in China and in a few months, if all goes well, we will be bringing her home to join our little family.

She was born with a cleft lip and palate.  Her cleft lip has been repaired, although you can see she will need plastic surgery on her little nose.  We will have her cleft palate worked on when we bring her home.

We received our initial pre-approval this week which means we can start telling people, share her darling pictures and we can also send her a small care package.  I can't believe how much we love her already.

An Jing was abandoned on a dirt road when she was a few days old.  Now your initial reaction might be something like "how could a mother abandon her child? and on a dirt road?"  May I tell you how I feel about it?

I believe that the dirt road indicates that An Jing's family was not wealthy or even middle-class.  I think that the dirt road indicates they lived in the country and were poor.  Perhaps very, very poor.  And when this poor mother in China gave birth to a child to had a cleft lip and cleft palate, she knew she would never be able to provide the medical needs this child needed.  It's likely that medical resources weren't even available to her.

And so this mother bundled up her child with all the love and care in the world.  She left her on a well-traveled road where the authorities were sure to find her.  And I believe this mother hoped and prayed that someone would care for her daughter and love her as if she were her own flesh and blood.

And so on this Mother's Day, I want to tell that mother on the other side of the world that we will.  We will love her daughter and care for her.  She will have food in her tummy, a warm bed to sleep in, medical care and attention and most of all, we will love her as she is, our very own.