groundhog day

Remember that movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? That's pretty much my life these days.

Today is day six that I've been in the hospital. In some ways, it only feels like a few days, but in others, it both feels like I've been here forever AND that I may never get out. When the doctor came this morning for his 6am rounds, I asked him exactly how far along I was. I keep hearing I'm in week 32 and our goal is to get to week 34. In my mind, I was close to week 33, but he said I'm actually only 32 weeks and 3 days. I haven't settled in my mind whether this is a minor or major detail. It feels major right now, but I keep reminding myself I'm lucky my water didn't break in week 26 like some of the women on this floor.

I'll be honest, yesterday was hard. I was, and still am, a bit emotional. I haven't felt any panic or pain, but I guess the stress of it all is getting to me. The tears were flowing in the middle of the night and I'm not exactly sure why. I'm sure hormones are playing a big part.

I try to focus on all the positive - and there are a lot of positives. There is still every reason to believe that our little baby is going to pull through just fine. His vital signs as well as mine are strong. Still having contractions, but no infection, so we're still good.

I'm planning on taking a tour of the NICU (newborn ICU) today to see where our baby will be. I also found out that they have a woman who will come give me one-on-one childbirth training.

Thanks again for all the emails, texts, calls and prayers. They really do help and I really do appreciate them all.

Natalie, Tony and Baby Smart

PS - here are some pics of my world...

UPDATE: The doctor just came in - 34 weeks is next THURSDAY AUGUST 5th - reality is kicking in...