grateful

The first Sunday of every month is "Fast and Testimony" meeting at my church.  On that day, the members of my faith fast for two meals and at church, they have the opportunity to stand and bear their testimony of their faith.  On Fast and Testimony day in November, both Tony and I stood and talked of faith and gratitude and bid our fellow church members good-bye as we thought we would be moving to North Carolina in a few weeks.  My boss called the very next day to tell me that they had not only changed their mind about relocating me to North Carolina, but that they were terminating me.

In my testimony the previous day, I talked about a Bishop (ecclesiastical leader) that I had had several years ago when I lived in San Francisco.  That Bishop was a colorful kind of guy - an undercover FBI agent that was certainly rough around the edges.  He didn't fit the typical mold of a Mormon Bishop and I loved that about him. 

He told me about how he was talking to a woman on a plane who was a different religion and they got into a bit of a doctrinal discussion.  That woman believed that she was saved by grace alone.  Mormons believe that we are saved by grace and works - we do everything we can to live a Christ-like life and then grace takes up the slack.  (I see beauty in both doctrines and I'm not here to debate them.)

At the end of the discussion, my Bishop asked this woman this question:  If you are saved by grace alone, what motivates you to follow Christ?  Her answer humbled him to the core.  With a look of amazement on her face, she simply said:  "why, because I'm so grateful."

I love that. Her motivation in life wasn't to obey commandments so she would be blessed.  Her motivation was gratitude, pure and simple.  I've often thought about this woman and I admire her for her level of gratitude.

And I wish my gratitude was that strong. I wish gratitude was my motivating factor in my life.  I think about how my relationship with my Heavenly Father would be different if I thanked him in continual prayer for everything (instead of a continual prayer of requests).  I think about how my relationship with my friends and family would be if I continually thanked them for every thing they did for me.  I think about how my relationship with my husband would be if gratitude were my sole motivation in my marriage.

Tony and I started a tradition a few years ago writing in Gratitude Journals.  Instead of writing in our own personal journal about things we were grateful for, I wrote in a Tony's journal and he wrote in mine.  Sadly, we have not kept that tradition going, but today I intend to revive that.  I will write in Tony's gratitude journal about something I am grateful for and leave it on his bedside table for him to find and expect nothing in return.

Feelings and expressions without any conditions or expectations. 
That's what gratitude is anyway right?

Ryan and Anna

Ryan and Anna.  Sometimes they go together like apple pie and ice cream.  They love to play together these days and it really does warm my heart to hear Ryan say, "I want to play with Anna."  But sometimes that ice cream melts and we're left with sloppy mess.

Just this morning, I asked Ryan if he could play with Anna without fighting and he answered in a very serious tone, "no."  Well, at least he is honest.

And a quick update on the employment front.  Monday is my first day working on a three month consulting job that I think I'm going to love doing.  It's working on an operations project that probably sounds really boring to a lot of you, but it's something that I love to do - even more than the business development/sales management and marketing.  So I feel much more relaxed and I'm actually able to spend time enjoying my kids. 

But I'll tell you, I take my hat off to all you stay-at-home moms out there.  I've had my kids home a lot with me over the past two weeks and sometimes I thought I was going to go crazy. 

I also realize that especially in this Thanksgiving season, I have so much to be grateful for.  And at the top of the list is friends and family who have helped us along this rocky year and who have been there for us.

So thank you!  We are happy, healthy and are progressing.  And I fully believe that it is our prayers and yours that have helped us to get through the rough times.

an update

As I mentioned in my last post, we are no longer moving to North Carolina.  It was a sudden change - one day we were packing, getting the house ready to rent and the next day we were unemployed.  Yes, unemployed.  It's been a huge shock to us and the reason I haven't written about it is...well, I really don't know what to write.  I probably shouldn't relate to much except that my boss simply changed his mind.

We had already signed a lease to rent out our SLC home (which luckily we were able to get out of) and were about to sign a lease for a fabulous home in High Point to rent.  I was actually really excited about moving - partly because of the house I found.  It was on an acre lot and had nothing but trees and grass around us.  Well, there were neighbors, but it seemed very remote and country like, except it wasn't.  But that is a moot point at this stage.

So what are we doing?  Looking for jobs.  Because Tony was doing contract work for my company, we are both looking for jobs now.  It's great fun (yes, you read sarcasm in that).

We are surviving and trying to look at the positive.  I will admit that I have had a really hard time.  It's been a tough year because we've had the uncertainty of this relocation hanging over us for almost the entire year.  It has made us push our adoption as fast as we could, it was the reason we had Anna's surgery done as quickly as we did and it was the driving force in many of the decisions we made.  In the past year we have dealt with adoption, a relocation across the country, cancer and now unemployment.  I'm also still battling medical insurance which again, is great fun.

It all means I haven't been sleeping a whole lot.  And it also means that I have to rely a lot on faith, prayer and hope.  Something that I'm not very good at at this moment.  But I'm trying to be.

So stay tuned, because it isn't all bad.  It is the month of giving thanks after all and I have been doing just that.  Plus I have lots of cute pictures of Ryan and Anna to post.  They are becoming great friends (in between all the fights) and it is fun and cute to watch.

So thanks for the love, prayers and support.  It is both needed and appreciated.

Natalie

a panda and a cowboy

As per our usual, a lot has been happening around here.  I'm not quite ready to write about it, but suffice it to say we are no longer moving to North Carolina.  I am one part relieved and one part something else.  It's that something else that I should write about in a not to distant future.

But for now, I thought I'd post some Halloween pictures before Thanksgiving Day.  Here is our little panda bear and our little cowboy.

Ryan's cowboy costume is actually a costume that my brother Brian originally wore...ummm....a few years ago.  Then my brother Trent wore it, then my sister's boys and now Ryan.  Ryan wore it last Halloween too but because life is so crazy for us, I decided to take the easy (lazy) route and reuse the cowboy costume.  And the panda costume is Ryan's from two years ago but it seemed perfect for our little Chinese addition to our family.

On Wednesday we went to our church Trunk or Treat activity and after the trunk or treat portion, we were went inside the church building for dinner and a children's costume parade.  When it was Ryan and Anna's turn, I told Ryan to hold Anna's hand and walk across the stage.  They stood on that stage holding hands and stared out at the crowd and it was absolutely darling.  Unfortunately we didn't have our camera with us so you'll just have to believe me - they were cute!

Everyone has been asking me how Anna did on Halloween and I just reply:  great - just like she's doing with everything.  This little girl just adapts to everything and takes everything in stride.  So even when her mommy dresses her up in an animal costume, she just goes along and has fun.  And the trick or treating?  She had the grabbing candy thing down in about 2 seconds!