Frequently Asked Questions

It’s funny how things backfire on me sometimes. For example, I’ve never enjoyed big birthday celebrations – I just don’t like the attention and everyone looking at me while they sing to me and I blow out candles. So I always brushed off suggestions for birthday celebrations. The result? More surprise birthday parties in the past dozen years than any person should have.

I really hadn’t planned on making a big announcement about being pregnant. I’ve just been telling people as I come into contact with them and a big Facebook type of announcement wasn’t in my plans. But when a seemingly innocent dream comment spurred several comments and even more FB messages to me, I decided to go Facebook public. And the number of comments, email and FB email messages since the big announcement has surprised me.

There have been a surprising number of questions – some of them the standard ones: when are you due and how do you feel? But there have been other questions that made me think I should probably document this amazing moment in my life.

So, at the risk of talking about myself too much (but what else do blogs do?), here are some thoughts and answers to those questions…it's rather long and detailed, so I won't be offended (and I won't even know) if you don't read it at all or stop reading after this paragraph. It's mostly for the sake of documentation afterall.

1. I am due on September 17th. I’m at 17 weeks now. However, because the doctor said “anytime in September”, I am visualizing September 2nd – my brother Trent’s birthday (sorry dad, but Sept 25th is just too far out there).
2. I am feeling better on most days. For several weeks I was violently ill in the evenings and I was feeling, well, like crap. I get sick in the evenings and lately only about 3 times a week. Although I did vomit 5 times last night.
3. I am definitely sleeping for 2.
4. I am 44 years old and this is my first baby which makes me high risk. Higher risk than most of the other 40-ish year old Mormon women who have had their 5th or 6th baby in their 40’s. But we’ve heard the heartbeat (a milestone which signals a significant reduction in miscarriage risk) and my doctor is keeping a pretty good eye on me. There’s still risk of miscarriage or downs syndrome, but we’re taking it day by day.
5. I have a huge fear of our baby having Downs.
6. We didn’t use any fertility methods. When we got married, I was 42 and we decided on the “Que Sera Sera” birth control method. After a year or so, we figured it wasn’t in the cards for us and I stopped tracking my cycle.
7. We actually were looking forward to adoption as a way to bring children into our family. I really thought (and still do) that we were meant to bring orphaned children into our home. By the time Tony was 22, both of Tony’s parents passed away. His mom passed away when he was 17. So he spent most of his adult life without a mom and a dad and it was really hard on him.

Four years ago I went on my first humanitarian trip with Southern Cross to the Sunflower Orphanage and absolutely fell head over heels in love with the children there. Becoming involved with helping those children helped fill a hole in my life. I was happy and content except I craved that feeling of caring for children. And helping improve lives of impoverished children…I felt completely satiated.

So I actually hoped we would end up adopting rather than having our own children. It’s hard for me to write this because it makes me feel ungrateful and unworthy. There are people VERY close to me who have struggled for years with childlessness and it absolutely breaks my heart. It’s very hard for me to explain, but while I am so very grateful for this baby, I’m also sad we’ve postponed our adoption plans.

We had actually started the foster adoption process when we found out I was pregnant and emailing the social worker we’d been talking to and telling them we needed to postpone our plans was heart wrenching. We considered continuing the foster adoption process, but the social worker strongly advised against it. We quickly saw her wisdom.

8. Yes, we are excited. I was admittedly, a bit freaked out when we found out (there’s an old blog posting about that if you want to torture yourself). I was in shock and a bit of denial – mostly because I was scared because I felt so dang old. But we are excited.
9. We don’t know yet whether we’re having a boy or girl, but we will DEFINITELY find out. We’re not the “want to be surprised” types. Tony wants a girl. I would like a boy. How’s that for mixed up? But I think we’re having a girl.
10. Tony has been simply amazing. He does 100% of the cooking, shopping, 90% of the laundry and cleaning. What do I do you ask? I work and pretty much sleep. Two days ago I mentioned that something in the fridge smelled (I have this amazing bionic nose now!) and the next morning he was up early and had completely cleaned out and disinfected the fridge, mopped the floor. The kitchen was spotless. I can think of a dozen things he does for me EVERY day. Last night he made homemade fruit leather because I can eat it without yacking. Sadly, I can’t think of many things I’ve done just for him lately (well, except grow his baby inside me).
11. I know everyone can’t wait for the time they put your newborn baby in your arms for the first time, but I can’t wait to see Tony hold our baby for the first time. Just thinking about it makes me cry (I’m tearing up right now).
12. Which leads me to the next topic. I really haven’t been that hormonal except I cry at the drop of a hat. But no temper, no extra moodiness. I just cry at every commercial or any sad thing. Last time I flew home, I was in the SLC airport and there were 2 missionaries returning home. I saw them and started WEEPING just imagining their homecoming. It’s not pretty.
13. Names. My family has a tradition of giving a Japanese middle name. Tony’s mom name is Kim so I’d like the middle name to be Kimiko. We’ll see. We can’t come up with many boy names, but we do like Ryan or girl names Sarah or Ellie. We have a huge family so pretty much every name has been used at least once.
14. I’m completely in love with this baby in my tummy. Right now I call her Sarah.