People keep telling me to “enjoy my pregnancy”, but honestly, when do I have time to do that? The most I can muster is spending an extra few minutes in bed in the morning with my hands on my tummy feeling our little baby rustle inside me. I have to say, feeling the little flutters inside me is one of the most amazing things. I’d rank it up there with petting the whales in Baja and swimming with the Galapagos sea lions. But I’d rank it higher than those.
I’ve learned several things over the last month. First and foremost, I’m not as tough as I thought I was. This may not come as a surprise to my family. I thought I’d be fine working the tradeshow at High Point, but my feet told me otherwise. By the second day of the show, my feet were so swollen, I looked like I was walking on hot coals. I couldn’t fit into any of my shoes and had to wear flip-flops the entire show. Now this is a high-design, high-fashion show. I meet with editors of magazines, designers and people like Margaret Russell, the editor-in-chief of Elle Décor. She was so gracious and was so happy that I was expecting and completely ignored my flip-flops.
After two grueling weeks of swollen feet and a sore back, I flew back last Saturday to SLC. Tony picked me up from the airport and we drove straight to my aunt’s house for a family dinner. Trent and Sarah graduated from BYU so my parents and sister Melissa flew in for the big event. We had a lovely dinner (still can’t eat much more than fruit and “blah foods” like rice though).
Sunday night I woke in the middle of the night and knew I was seconds from vomiting. This has happened a few times before, but this was different than my usual pregnancy sickness. It was VIOLENT. I had to get up about 5 times in the night running to the bathroom. When Tony got sick too, I called my mom to see if they were sick. She called around and 6 of us had gotten sick. By the next day, 11 of us were. Apparently my cousins had the flu and it was a quick-spreading, nasty bug and we got it.
The second thing I learned is that I don’t want to be a single mom and for about 30 seconds, I thought that was my destiny. Tony had been throwing up quite a bit and we were both pretty weak. He got up to go to the bathroom and then I heard a horrible thud/crashing sound. I yelled his name and ran to the bathroom but couldn’t open the door. I could see his legs and feet – he had passed out and his body was blocking the door. I had to use my whole body to push it open. He was half reclined, facing away from the toilet with his body/head between the toilet and the wall.
The thing I remember the most is his eyes. It was like someone hit the re-set button. The pupils were dialated and were completely centered and fixed in the exact middle of his eyes. He was ash white, there was no sign of life in those eyes and it looked like he was dead.
I couldn’t move his body without his head falling and hitting the ground so I just tried to revive him. I would touch his face and say his name over and over again. I remember wondering if I should slap him like they do in the movies.
I couldn’t get him awake so I ran and got the phone and called 911. They were just about to send an ambulance when Tony’s eyes started flickering. It seemed like 5 minutes, but I guess he was out about 30 or 40 seconds. He started coming around and my heart started beating again.
The rest of the day as we were still sick in bed I kept looking into his eyes. I was amazed at how different they looked. There was life.
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