overwhelmed

After being home from my New York trip for almost a week, I find myself just as overwhelmed with work and life as I was before my trip.  And during my trip for that matter.

I know I'm not the only one with a lot on my plate, but for some reason, I feel like I can barely tread water these days.  My house is a mess, my desk looks like a tornado hit it and I can't sleep at night because I have so much to do.  After tossing and turning in bed for a couple of hours, I decided to get up and get some work done so I can take a couple of hours off on Friday afternoon.  Makes sense huh? 

What makes even more sense is me writing this blog post instead of working.  But here I am.

I had a dentist appointment today and as my teeth were being cleaned, the hygenist (I'm pretty sure that's not spelled correctly, but I'm too tired to look it up) asked me how my summer was going.  I realized we haven't had much of a summer at all as I replied, "pretty good, work is going well."

I am managing to spend as much time with Ryan as I can though.  He seems to be settling back in to my travel schedule.  Last month was a bit sketchy.  I came home from my July Atlanta trip and he was so clingy that I couldn't even walk to another room in the house without him panicking.  He had to hold my hand if I had to walk to another room.  Made me really sad and did wonders for my guilt complex.

I didn't mean for this posting to be a downer, but I also promised myself that I would write honestly on this blog.  I promised myself that I wouldn't paint a pretty picture just so others could admire the view.  So there it is.  I love my job, I love my family and really, I love my life.  But I'm overwhelmed.

I also have a feeling that I'm not alone and that there are many out there who are in the same boat.

Ryan's been home with me a lot over the past few weeks (both before and after NY) which, even though a bit stressful at times, has been fun.  I do manage to take breaks throughout the day to read a book or play with his cars or trains.  But most of the time he plays on his own.  And we've definitely had the TV on way too much the past couple of weeks.  A frequent phrase heard in the Smart household is, "too close Ryan....sit on your pillow".  Which, as you can see, works quite well.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not really complaining about my summer or my job or my life.  I'm just wondering how I'm going to get it all done.  I'm beginning to see a glimmer of light, but it's a very long tunnel!

thank you...for changing my life

I love this story...it's a real life story about a man named Segundo who just needed a little help with life.  And that's where Eagle Condor Humanitarian came in.  Can you imagine someone telling you thank you for changing their life?

Here's his story:

Hello. My name is Segundo Antonio Angulo Alvares, I am a young man, 27 years old. All my life I have tried to have my own business and help my parents’ family. Iquitos is a beautiful city but nevertheless it has very little opportunities for young people.  The most beautiful thing was four months ago when in my church brother Pedro Reategui came announcing that there were classes for self-reliance. A sincere desire awoke in me to learn how to manage my finances and to start a business so I can get out of poverty. “Finally,” I told myself “finally I will become a business man and entrepreneur”. That’s why I made myself the goal to attend the classes every week and to learn from them. I learned how to keep accounting records and they committed us in class to save and I also made that a personal goal, I also learned how to analyze my profits and losses and to calculate my equilibrium (break even) point. That’s when I got excited to start my business of selling and raising chicken.

In Iquitos for the 24^th of June we celebrate the largest holiday called the “Fiesta de San Juan” and that’s when I put the goal to sell chickens I raise. I did the same for our Independence day celebrations. For me it went surprisingly well. I started with 100 chickens and I made a net profit of 1200 soles (about 462$USD) in 45 days. And now I am raising 500 chickens to be able to increase my income. I just want to thank you, thank you for the miracle that you have brought into my life. Now my brother is attending the classes with me and we are raising chickens together. We keep records of our variables costs and strive to find providers of chicken feed who sell at the lowest price and we look for clients who can pay us well for our services. Now I know how to administer my business and I hope I keep doing well and that I can become the largest seller of chickens in the city. I am going to work hard to achieve it. Again I thank you for coming here and for changing my life.

www.eagle-condor.org

it's a bit dusty around here...

Once again I find myself a few days before leaving for a tradeshow and in a bit of a panic.  I should be doing a dozen other things right now, but really, I just need a break.

I love my job, don't get me wrong.  I work for a brilliant furniture designer and I get to wear a lot of different hats.  But sometimes I have to take a step back and tell myself, it's just furniture. 

And speaking of furniture, I looked around last night and noticed mine is a bit dusty.  As in, "when was the last time I dusted?" kinda dusty.  Unfortunately for my home, it wasn't incentive enough to break out the dust cloths.  I'm finding that the few spare minutes that I have each day are so precious.  Spare minutes when Ryan goes down for an afternoon nap or asleep for the night, spare minutes when Ryan's awake and just needs me to read to him, spare minutes when Tony and I get to sit out on the back deck and watch the sunset.

But I have to say that I feel the effects of the dust in my life.  I've been in a bit of a funk - more like I'm out of balance.  Too much to do, too little time....you know the drill.  I'm very sure it's no different from your life.

But in the dustiness of my life, I found that I've let a few things go.  I've slipped on prayer.  I've slipped on reading scriptures, I've slipped on keeping my spiritual side healthy.  It's amazing to me how quickly a simple slip happens.

It's kinda like my weight loss journey.  I try to keep up on working out and eating healthy, but one piece of birthday cake (well, ok, two pieces) for my little boy can derail things in an instant.

But luckily the path back to spiritual health isn't as tough as shedding a pound or two. 

The past week I've been taking a minute or two before I fall asleep at night or before I get up in the morning to ponder, meditate and pray.  And I have to say, I'm amazed at how quickly I feel balance coming back into my mind.  My life is out of balance and I'm working late into the nights, but I FEEL more balanced.

So while I know that dust and cobwebs are going to be a constant challenge, I'm determined to spend a little time each day dusting a little corner here and then a little corner there.

happy birthday ryan...

Well, it happened.  Our baby turned two.  And he's not really a baby anymore.  And yes, that does make me a bit sad.  What Tony says is true, he just gets more fun as he gets older, but would it hurt him just to slow down a bit?  I don't miss the sleepless nights, but I do miss this darling little baby boy:

To celebrate a successful completion of Ryan's second year (with only 2 sets of stitches), we took him to his favorite place...the zoo.  We went earlier in the day and the animals were a bit more active.  The elshant (elephants) were eating right by the fence, the beh (bears) were napping, but the polar bear came right up to the window - just like all the billboards.  Well, not quite - he and Ryan didn't make eye contact, but it was still pretty neat.  And our favorite, the jafs (giraffes) were all out enjoying the sun.  It was a special day that we were able to spend with our little boy. 

I do have some pictures, but they are on Tony's camera and I'm too tired and lazy to go into his office to get his camera.  But for now, here are a couple of my favorites from the California Mano weekend.

I love this one of Ryan and his daddy.  Oh how I love those two boys.

So happy birthday little Ryan.  Mommy and daddy love you.

The California Mano's

Last week the whole family came to town.  The big event was Koki's (see earlier post if you don't know who that is) birthday.  It was a big one (the big 4-0) and since he is usually in Hawaii, we took the opportunity to celebrate with him since he's now a "local".  Mom & dad came from California, Gary, Racquel and Baby Regan (who is darling) came from San Jose and Melissa came all the way from Hawaii.


It was a whirlwind weekend and we had so many activites packed in that we didn't spend a whole lot of time together with just the family, but nevertheless, we were all within the general vicinity of each other.

On Friday we all went to Snowbird.  I've actually never been to Snowbird in the summer - since the name infers that it is a winter destination.  But there are quite a few fun activities!

Our favorite was the Alpine Slide.  I intentially rode in front of Ryan and Tony so I could take pictures, but alas, I was not fast enough so I only got the beginning and end points.  Tony said Ryan loved it and yelled "wheeee!" all the way down.

Another honerable mention has to be the mechanical bull.  I would post the video of Tony, but then that would open myself up to him posting the video of me.  However can I just say that I lasted at least EIGHT seconds?

So happy birthday Brian.  We love you and are so happy that you are here in Utah!