2010...a review. Part One: the remodel

We haven't sent out any Christmas cards yet...and as time marches on, it looks quite unlikely that we will. We've sent out half of Ryan's baby announcements. (If you want one, email me your address at nmano@yahoo.com and I'll send you one...it's really cute!) Most people thought that was our Christmas card and I'm fine with that.

It's too bad I didn't do a card though because 2010 was an eventful year. It started with the remodeling of our house. We moved out Thanksgiving weekend of 2009 and moved back in March of this year.

Here are some pics of the remodel. I might have posted some of these before on facebook (sorry if there are repeats).

Here are a few "before" pictures The "before pic" of our kitchen. Obviously Tony bought this house for the lot and the view! Our future family room. Digging out the foundation. New master bathroom. Master bedroom. View from our family room. Abby's paw prints in our new cement in the back porch.

Ryan's First Christmas

There's nothing like a new baby in the house to bring the holiday cheer. While Ryan didn't really know what was happening, we still enjoyed dressing him in his reindeer finest. And I think I might leave the Christmas tree up all year as it ranks in the top 3 baby sitters (my mom and Joy being the other two). Ryan can sit in his swing and look at the Christmas lights forever.

And since Ryan doesn't get the present thing yet, we only bought him one gift - my favorite children's book, "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom".

But the best present Ryan's received is a brand new cousin! Trent and Sarah had their little girl Charlotte on December 23rd. We're trying desperately to get over our colds so we can see little Charlotte.

With Charlotte's birth and Tom's new job, it truly has been a season of miracles.

Merry Christmas Tom

It's been an eventful and a bit of a tough week in terms of the Tom project. He was so desperately cold earlier in the week that we put him in a motel. At $60 a night, WE knew it couldn't be a long-term fix, but I don't think Tom did. After a couple of nights Tom called with great news. He had a very promising job interview on Thursday at noon.

As I mentioned before, Tom is very employable. He is your average middle-class American who is down on his luck. He has a good resume. And he found a former co-worker at this company who was happy to pass on his resume which resulted in the interview.

Up to this point Tony has taken care of most of the errands for Tom. Tony wanted to keep some distance between Tom and his family and home and while I really wanted to get involved, I respected Tony's wishes. But I was able to take some time off work to take Tom to his job interview yesterday so I was finally able to talk at length with him.

We decided to extend the motel stay another night so Tom would be well rested and confident for his job interview. But we told Tom we couldn't pay for any more nights so he had to check out of the motel when I picked him up.

When I saw Tom walk out of his motel room, I was shocked. He was dressed in a suit and tie and looked great. It wasn't just that he had a suit on or that his hair was slicked back. He had confidence. I could tell he felt great. And although he was upset about moving back into his van, he maintained that confidence.

We drove over to the lot where he's been living and it was pretty much how I envisioned it, but worse. It broke my heart to see him climb into his van in his suit. Mostly because I was the one who was playing the heavy. Tony wanted to pay for a months stay in the motel, but I put my foot down.

We then headed to the job interview. Tom wasn't nervous at all and he was very chatty. He knew he could do this job and he just felt good. I dropped him off and went to run a few errands. I was so SO nervous waiting for him that I had to say a prayer out loud. I asked Heavenly Father for His help. I asked Heavenly Father to do whatever He could to help Tom in his interviews. I asked Him to touch the interviewers hearts. I asked for a miracle.

And that prayer was answered. Tom got the job! We drove straight to the drug testing facility so he could start on Monday. It's a good job. It is a sales job that pays commission, but Tom has the exact experience he needs to do well. We were SO excited as Tom and I talked about the job, the possibilities, how this is the beginning of the beginning.

And then I took him back to his van. I felt awful. Yet, I felt like it wasn't quite the right thing to take him to the motel and pay for the month.

I couldn't stop thinking about Tom the rest of the day. I couldn't fall asleep that night so I finally got up and wrapped presents while watching The Miracle on 34th Street. But I had a hard time feeling Christmasy knowing Tom was shivering in his van.

So I decided to call our Bishop in the morning and ask for the ward to pay for half of the $800. My Bishop kindly listened to me, explained that he couldn't use ward funds, but he would pay for the other $400 out of his own pocket. I don't think my Bishop will ever know how much this means not only to Tom but to me and Tony as well. How do you thank someone for something like this?

When I called Tom and told him we were moving him back into the motel today, he started sobbing. He said this was the best Christmas present he's ever received.

We're not out of the woods yet. Tom still doesn't have a car to drive or a driver's license. He still has to find a permanent place to live. And he has to perform on this job. But his luck is turning.

That phone call to Tom this morning was what I needed. Tony took Tom to the motel and got him settled with enough food and money for the weekend.

I think this year ranks up there as one of my top Christmas' ever. It shares company with Christmas on my mission and Christmas at the Sunflower Orphanage with my dear little Peruvian friends.

Merry Christmas to each of you and especially to Tom.

May all your wishes come true.

Tom

Every night, in the middle of the night, when I'm trying to fall back asleep after Ryan's 3am-ish feeding, I think about Tom.

Is he warm?
Is he hungry?
Is he...alive??

Tom is a man that we became acquainted with this past summer when he asked if he could do some work in our yard. He looks like he's in his 70's although I suspect he's much younger than that. When he first came by, our yard was pretty ghetto. We had put in our sprinklers after the construction and were getting ready to put in the sod when my water broke and our life turned upside down.

The weeds grew and the yard fell further into neglect as each day went by, but with me in the hospital on bedrest and then Ryan in the NICU, our ghetto yard was the last thing on our minds (well, except when we drove home and I saw with embarrassment how bad our yard looked).

Anyway, Tom asked for work, and Tony gladly gave it to him. He'd been out of work for awhile and was just trying to make ends meet. He was about to get evicted and was probably going to lose his car sometime soon. He was a good worker and we gave him all the work we could, plus a little more. When the lawn was in and every other job we could find for him was done, we thanked him, gave him some extra money and he walked away.

A few months later, he knocked on our door. I could hear Tony talking to him while I was nursing Ryan in the back of the house. Tom was homeless and he was pretty desperate. He was living in his van and had run out of food and money. He needed some money to pay his cell phone, buy his dog some food and some for himself. Tony, of course, helped. That was several months ago.

Since then we've tried very hard to help him get back on his feet. And I'm amazed at how hard it's been. Tom has a few jobs lined up, but no transportation. So Tony's been working on getting his van to pass inspection and it finally passed. Tom let his driver's license lapse, so now they're working on getting his license, insurance, etc.

We've tried finding apartments for Tom, but he doesn't have a credit card to fill out the on-line credit reports that people are requiring. And even though we tell the landlords that we'll guarantee payment until Tom gets back on his feet, they simply don't reply to emails or answer phone calls.

Tony is my hero. He took Tom shopping and bought him new snow boots and gear. He stops by at least once a week to make sure he's ok and to take care of whatever he needs. We got Tom a $10/month membership to a gym nearby so he can go there and shower. He tried homeless shelters, but he said between the rough crowd and the drugs, he thought it too dangerous. We've tried other agencies, but it appears most people help women, children and families, but there aren't many resources for single men.

So last night as I watched the snow falling around 3am, I thought again of Tom. We really hoped to have him warm and safe in a new home by Christmas. At this point, it doesn't look like that will happen. But maybe. Maybe we'll see a miracle. It is the season after all.

home for the holidays...part two

I asked Ryan what his vote was and he said he wanted to live in Capitola too. At 4.5 months, he ought to know. He's already traveled to both coasts so he knows what he's talking about.

On Saturday we drove into the city with mom and dad (I love it when dad drives us around in the city). By the way, "the city" is what we always called San Francisco - not "San Fran" or worse, "FRISCO"...just the city.

Growing up, we always drove into the city at Christmastime. I have so many fun memories of this annual trip and I was excited to share some of it with Tony. We started with the Ferry Building (crowded!) and the Farmers Market (never made it) and then headed to the Embarcadero and the Hyatt (beautiful as always).

Then we headed to Union Square - I wanted to wander through Union Square and see the windows at Macy's and Saks. But the traffic was so heavy, we just watched from the car as we did a drive by.

We finally gave up on the city and headed to another favorite...the Crate and Barrel outlet in Berkeley's 4th Street district. I knew the Crate and Barrel outlet would not disappoint and disappoint it did not. Mom bought some of these and they looked beautiful with her Christmas dinnerware on Sunday. Satiated by our Crate and Barrel purchases, we headed back to Pleasanton tired, but the good kind of tired.

It was a fun day, but it wasn't really the same. I realized 20 years have passed which makes it understandable that times have changed, but it made me sad. Everything seemed so rushed, so crowded, less festive.

But the good thing is Tony didn't have the idyllic memories to compare to so he thought it was all beautiful and wonderful. And now when I look back on last weekend, that's how I remember it as well. Beautiful and wonderful.

home before the holidays....part one

We just returned Monday night from a much needed quick vacation to California. A trip to mom and dad's house is soothing to my soul anytime of the year, but at Christmas time... Let's just say Carolyn knows how to do Christmas.

I kept telling Tony and Ryan how magical mom's house is (at Christmas time or any holiday for that matter, my mom and dad's house sometimes becomes "mom's house"). Tony kept reminding me of my expectation management mantra, but I was confident that Tony could have high expectations and NOT be disappointed. And I was right.

California was overcast and foggy, but it felt different than Utah's overcast and inversion. On Friday we went to Santa Cruz and wandered downtown for a change. Then we drove along the coast and explored different beaches and beach towns.

Whenever we go to California, we like to play a game. We pretend we are rich and can afford to live anywhere in the world and discuss where we want to live. I always choose California. Specifically, the Bay Area or thereabouts. Anyway, while we were meandering along the coast, we decided that our beach town of choice is Capitola. We almost bought a lottery ticket while we were there. Just because and just in case.

We headed back to Pleasanton around 4:30pm and realized we would be sitting in Friday 5pm traffic headed from San Jose to Pleasanton. If any of you know what this means, you know it isn't pretty. And I think it was enough to change Tony's mind about the Bay Area being the happiest place on earth.

it's mommy...

I woke up at 3:30 am eastern time on Saturday morning as excited as I've ever been. Early morning flights are horrible, but it was a small price to pay to see my baby as early as possible. But it was awfully early.

When I finally landed in SLC, I called my sister who was picking me up so we could drive straight to my sister-in-law's baby shower. I could hear Ryan screaming SCREAMING in the background. "Ryan's really excited to see you," she laughingly said.

By the time she got to the airport I felt like I was going to burst with anticipation of our reunion. I couldn't wait to pick himi up and hug him. My sister pulled up to Pick Up #7, I opened the door and saw Ryan...fast asleep. Considering the screaming episode of a few minutes ago and considering the drive ahead of us (to Orem), I thought it wise to let this sleeping baby lie. So much for my cuddly reunion.

But cuddle we did. And it was sweet. Ryan didn't forget me like I feared. And Ryan wasn't walking and talking like I dreamed.

When Ryan was in the hospital, the first thing I would say to him when I arrived was, "it's mommy." I always felt like he knew I was his mommy.

Later on the drive to Orem, Ryan woke from his slumbering and smiled when he heard me say, "it's mommy."

And that smile was just what I needed.

daddy

This posting is long overdue. And since Tony is playing Mr. Mom while I'm out of town this week, I thought it was only fitting that I finally write about Ryan's daddy.

When Tony was proposing to me (he did a few times), he would often tell me that he was going to dedicate his life to making me happy.

While I believed he was sincere and I believed that HE believed this, I didn't think it would last. But he has proved me wrong.

My family often gives me a bad time for how spoiled I've become. Tony does the majority of the cooking, grocery shopping and laundry. By majority, I really mean all of it. He loves to spoil me and I let him!

And now I find myself sharing Tony's spoiling with our little baby. And I love it.

I love that we both get to work at home.

I love that Tony sings his goofy made-up songs to Ryan.

I love that Ryan laughs when Tony tickles and plays with him.

I love that he isn't afraid to change a poopy diaper.

I love that Ryan follows Tony with his eyes whenever Tony walks by.

I love that he's man enough to use a boppy.

I love that he volunteers to take one of the middle-of-the-night feedings.

I love that Ryan knows Tony.

Most of all, I love Ryan's daddy.