has anyone seen my baby?

Sometime when I wasn't looking, my baby disappeared. And in his place is a darling little 17-month old toddler who I will gladly keep. But I miss my little baby.

Tony has a hard time understanding why I want Ryan to stay a baby because Ryan just gets funner and funner each day (isn't that like a man??). When I tried to explain that if Ryan keeps growing at this rate, he'll be leaving for college before we know it. And then what would we do with the rest of our lives?

I can hardly bear the thought.

But neither can Tony. Whenever I talk about Ryan growing up or graduating from high school or college or getting married or anything about him growing into an adult, Tony just about loses it. Really. I can honestly talk about Ryan going on a mission and Tony will get teary eyed. My big, strong husband is reduced to tears so easily sometimes. It's quite tender.

Anyway, back to my little baby. I do miss having a little newborn something terrible, but Tony's right. He is a pretty hilarious kid (and one who gives me little time to rest). Every time I turn my back he is climbing onto something. And that little reindeer he's holding? It used to have twig antlers and a bell and a tail. And that little red nose? Gone.

And even if all our holiday decorations are now broken, eyeless, noseless and antlerless. I'd trade all the holiday decor in the world for time with this little boy of ours.

Because our little boy, Ryan, the terror of all reindeer, is the best gift of all.