loneliness

I was single a LONG time before I married Tony. My pre-marriage life was a full one. I had a demanding job, lots of good friends, I traveled a lot for work and as much as I could for play.

And for the most part, I was rarely lonely.

Several years ago, some of my friends had a little contest about the most romantic place they had traveled to...solo. I have quite a list: Hawaii, Paris, New York, Hong Kong to name a few. And still, I wasn't lonely.

So now I'm married and have the cutest little baby...I'm in New York and now I'm lonely.

Today is also my birthday (note: I wrote this last night). I spent the day traveling to New York. The TSA agent wished me a happy birthday as I passed through security. I arrived at my hotel and our other employees who were supposed to arrive today were delayed because of weather. So I took myself to dinner and even treated myself to dessert.

The thing is, I've spent almost all of my last ten birthdays the same way because the NY Gift Fair is always at the end of January. Sometimes I'm traveling, sometimes I'm spending the day unpacking furniture setting up our booth, sometimes I'm on my feeet all day talking to interior designers about our furniture. I even spent my 40th birthday here at the show. And in the last ten years, I don't think I've ever been lonely.

Loneliness is an interesting thing. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm actually enjoying being lonely.

I spent a lot of time today thinking about how blessed I am. I have an amazing familly from my parents and siblings to my aunts, uncles and cousins. I have amazing friends who are so kind and supportive. And now, I have an amazing husband and son.

So yes, it's a little lonely here in my hotel room in New York. But I'm grateful I have Tony and Ryan in my life...having them in my life to miss makes the loneliness not only worth it, but enjoyable.