Tuesday, February 8, 2011


We are studying the New Testament in chuch and last Sunday we talked about miracles. When we talked about the role of miracles, my mind wandered as I reflected on Ryan's time in the NICU.

Probably the scariest time we had in the hospital was when the virus necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC) was spreading through the NICU. Nec is a very serious virus that leads to intestinal problems and a lot of the babies were getting it. The way they tell if you have it is by taking an x-ray. I still remember the feeling I had when our doctor told us Ryan's x-ray's showed he had nec. I felt like my body went completely numb. I don't remember a lot of the conversation because my mind was spinning, but I do remember panicking.

Later that day, Tony gave Ryan a blessing and that panic disappeared. During the blessing I felt a peaceful feeling come over me. I didn't know whether that peaceful feeling meant Ryan would be cured or whether it meant Ryan would have the long-term effects of nec (which can include surgery to remove damaged parts of the intestines), but we would still be ok. I did know that whatever happened, we would be able to handle it.

That didn't mean I didn't hope he would be cured. I prayed and prayed our little boy would be healthy. I prayed for a miracle.

Our prayers were answered. The doctors told us that he actually did NOT have nec (although the x-rays showed he did). I don't know if I could ever express how I felt at that moment. I was so full of relief and every other happy emotion.

And I knew that we were blessed with a miracle.

On Sunday when we were talking about miracles, I realized that we actually saw two miracles. I will always be grateful that Ryan escaped the NEC virus. I'm also so grateful for the miracle of calmness, peace and reassurance that I felt during that time and throughout those difficult two months.

I'm also aware that others around us didn't see the miracles that they hoped and prayed for. My heart hurts for them. Since Ryan's little body was healed, it may not be fair for me to say this, but I do believe that while everyone may not see the physical miracle they hope for, they can experience the miracle of peace.

And this is the miracle I hope and pray for everyday.

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