Our phone started ringing around 8am with a call from the Zittings asking us to have Tom come get his dog Lucky or he was going to the pound. Then another call from another Zitting saying they were bringing over some of Tom's belongings. Then a call from Tom asking for a ride from the jail from which he had been released.
There was a bit of confusion about the dog - some said (not-so) Lucky was going to the pound, some said they were waiting for Tom. We preferred he go to the pound since they said they would hold him until Tom could come get him - this meant Tom could go to the homeless shelter and get some help getting back on his feet.
In the end, Tony went to pick up Tom and then went to the Zittings to get Lucky. Tony said Tom broke down and cried when he was reunited with Lucky - which breaks my heart. Tony dropped Tom off at the Beans & Brew on Fort Union along with a bag of dog food and some cash and told him he couldn't come sleep in our yard. The rest of the day and into the night I kept looking out our front window half expecting to see Tom sleeping in some corner of our yard. It wasn't a comfortable feeling - I kept wondering about his arrest warrant and his violent past that the police alluded to.
In the meantime, I was calling auto storage places and found out that unfortunately we wouldn't be able to store the van anywhere because it wasn't registered or insured. I started fearing we would be stuck with the purple beast on our lawn forever. It was doubly upsetting because Tony spent a fair amount of time and money getting the van to pass inspection last summer, but he couldn't get Tom to go with him to the DMV to get it registered.
So we had to tell Tom that unless he could find a place for the van, we'd have to have it impounded. This van is stuffed completely full of every possession he owns (which I think he should sell and make some money).
Later that day Tom called and asked Tony to bring him a sleeping bag out of the van.
It's a tough situation that we're in. We want to help, but we've already spent a considerable amount of time, money and resources which we're fine with, but Tom is a difficult person to work with. He has a temper, he often gets angry at Tony when Tony tells him he can't do something (like pay $2000 to get his jeep out of impound) and doesn't take advice well.
But he's a human being. And it's hard to walk away from someone in need. It's a pretty tough situation since he really doesn't have anyone else to turn to, but we feel it is time to step back.
But how do you do that without feeling a fair amount of guilt?
There was a bit of confusion about the dog - some said (not-so) Lucky was going to the pound, some said they were waiting for Tom. We preferred he go to the pound since they said they would hold him until Tom could come get him - this meant Tom could go to the homeless shelter and get some help getting back on his feet.
In the end, Tony went to pick up Tom and then went to the Zittings to get Lucky. Tony said Tom broke down and cried when he was reunited with Lucky - which breaks my heart. Tony dropped Tom off at the Beans & Brew on Fort Union along with a bag of dog food and some cash and told him he couldn't come sleep in our yard. The rest of the day and into the night I kept looking out our front window half expecting to see Tom sleeping in some corner of our yard. It wasn't a comfortable feeling - I kept wondering about his arrest warrant and his violent past that the police alluded to.
In the meantime, I was calling auto storage places and found out that unfortunately we wouldn't be able to store the van anywhere because it wasn't registered or insured. I started fearing we would be stuck with the purple beast on our lawn forever. It was doubly upsetting because Tony spent a fair amount of time and money getting the van to pass inspection last summer, but he couldn't get Tom to go with him to the DMV to get it registered.
So we had to tell Tom that unless he could find a place for the van, we'd have to have it impounded. This van is stuffed completely full of every possession he owns (which I think he should sell and make some money).
Later that day Tom called and asked Tony to bring him a sleeping bag out of the van.
It's a tough situation that we're in. We want to help, but we've already spent a considerable amount of time, money and resources which we're fine with, but Tom is a difficult person to work with. He has a temper, he often gets angry at Tony when Tony tells him he can't do something (like pay $2000 to get his jeep out of impound) and doesn't take advice well.
But he's a human being. And it's hard to walk away from someone in need. It's a pretty tough situation since he really doesn't have anyone else to turn to, but we feel it is time to step back.
But how do you do that without feeling a fair amount of guilt?
Yup, I read your blog. So, "how do you do that without feeling a fair amount of guilt?" I could make up an answer to make you feel better and to make me sound nice and sweet. But, I think the truth of the matter is that you are right, you need to step back and away from the situation. Unfortunately, you will feel guilty. I think the part to worry about would be if you did step back and you didn’t feel guilty. Sometimes, doing the right thing also brings guilt. However, the guilt does not mean it is still not the right thing to do; it just makes it harder to do. You're doing the right thing!
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Miss