Last Thursday Ryan was doing great. He was starting to breast feed, he was gaining weight, he was doing all of the things the doctors told us he needed to do. We went home Thursday night with great expectations for the next day when he would be done with all IV meds and nutrition. He would be on full feeds through his feeding tube and most of all, his IV lines and pick line would come out.
I arrived Friday morning at the hospital full of hope only to find out that overnight he had become a very sick little baby. I know I've told this story before, but I mention it again because I find myself in the same situation today.
The past few days Ryan has been doing great. He's made a quick recovery and even though he had to start over on his feeds, the volume has increased by much larger quantities than before. He started at 6 ml and yesterday was up to 35 ml. Today he should end all IV's and have his pick line removed. Then we just focus on the task of getting him to feed by mouth...again.
Faith and hope have had a major role in my life over the past month, but unfortunately, so have fear and doubt. Trying to have faith and hope while managing expectations so I don't come crashing down again is a tough thing to do. But for now, I'm going to let faith and hope guide my day today.
I'll keep you posted...
Natalie, Tony and Ryan
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